Do you see what I see?

My last visit to Calcutta was pretty sad. Tensions were brewing at home, I was unable to find a job I wanted and I was discovering about the affairs I never wanted to know. Every day was gloomy just like the weather outside. I had returned home after working for a couple of months in Goa and the whole environment seemed completely different, there I could at least find my solace in the waters but here I was at home yet not at home. This was also my last visit because I knew that once I was into a job, I wouldn't be returning home for a while. On the other hand, my parents were also moving to another city. The slo-mo Calcutta was suddenly rushing past me and I did not know what to do. I lay at home all day and played games or read books. I wanted to go out and take in every essence of the city but a part of me was not ready to accept any of it. My personal life, on the other hand, felt like a piece of foil paper - crumpled and folded back again with the creases. Once more I was without any friends in the city. Or maybe there were but I couldn't get myself to get up and go meet them.

This photograph was the last such photograph I had taken in this house. I could have taken more but nothing fascinated me here any longer. It felt like this was the time when everything could either fall apart or come together. I needed to be at peace, I needed things to make sense. This went on for 2 whole months until I let go of the city and home. I did not know what lay ahead of me but I know I had managed to escape.